Kisses Will Heal Our Love!
by islashlove
Summary: It has been three month since Lassiter got out of hospital. The gang is slowly healing from their wounds and Shawn is due to be released from prison for his part in their abductions. Will Lassiter be able to reach Shawn so he too can start to heal? This is a slash story. A very angry Shawn, suicide thoughts and signs of depression.
1. The Day of Release

**Disclaimer: I do not own anything that is from Psych. **

**Warning: This is a slash story which means same sex relationships. If you don't like it, don't read it.**

**Beta: Yes, I would like to say thank you to my Beta jerseybelle**

**Author's Notes: ****This is the sequel to my story 'Can Kisses Save Us?'. It is the fourth instalment in my 'Kisses' series, which started with 'Kisses Can Hurt' and then 'Kisses Can Make Me Cry'.**

**Story Notes: It has been three month since Lassiter got out of hospital. The gang is slowly healing from their wounds and Shawn is due to be released from prison for his part in their abductions. Will Lassiter be able to reach Shawn so he too can start to heal?**

**Kisses Will Heal Our Love!**

**Chapter 1: The Day of Release**

Lassiter walked stiffly into the station. Today was going to be a big day for two reasons. The first one was because he, Chief Vick and Henry were returning to work after their ordeal several months ago. The other and in his mind the most important thing, Shawn was getting out of prison.

Lassiter still couldn't believe that a jury had found Shawn guilty of helping Hogan, but regardless, Shawn was sentenced to two months in prison. The only real bonus that came out of it was that Shawn had been put through the prison's drug rehabilitation program and not in the main stream prison life. The downfall was, Shawn hadn't been allowed any visitors.

They had all been lucky. The physical wounds from all the torture had healed and over time, so will the mental ones. The bullet had hit Lassiter in the shoulder and if it hadn't been for McNab rushing in with the rest of the officers from the station, he would have bled to death. Just the thought of how close they had come to death sent a shiver down Lassiter's back.

As he walked along the hallway, every officer he met or saw gave him a genuine smile and well wishes. They really were glad to see him back at the station and back on the job and hopefully, when Shawn was also ready to return, they will welcome him home too.

Entering the bullpen, Lassiter could see O'Hara sitting at her desk. Guster, along with baby Chloe stood nearby talking to Henry. After what they had been through, the group had become closer. O'Hara was no longer O'Hara, she was now Juliet. Guster...Gus and the Chief, outside work, was Karen. They were now beyond friends, they were family, Lassiter's family.

Shaking his head, Lassiter made his way to his own desk. Because of his behaviour in the recent past, Lassiter's desk had been moved to the side of the bullpen so he was out of harm's way, but when he reached where it should have been, it wasn't. Confused, Lassiter looked around, only to find everyone looking at him.

"Your desk in over here Sir," McNab called out.

Looking over to where McNab was standing, Lassiter was happy to see his desk back where it belonged. The desk was covered in cards, but what made him even more happy was to see what was in McNab's hand...a fresh cup of coffee. Smiling, Lassiter walked over, picked up all the cards and stacked them neatly in a pile; he then took the offered coffee. He looked around at all the faces looking at him and felt he needed to say something.

"Thank you! Thank you everyone for showing me how much you care. I'll look over your cards soon, but knowing that you all welcome me back like this will make returning to work a lot easier."

"You're welcome, Detective Lassiter," came the reply from the entire station, then everyone headed back to work. Those that passed Lassiter gave him a light tap on the shoulder to show how really glad they were to see him back.

Lassiter had just taken his first sip of coffee when Chief Vick called him, Juliet and Henry into her office.

"Good to see we all made it today," Chief Vick said smiling. "You all understand that you are still under light duties, which means paperwork...right?" She glanced at Lassiter who nodded his understanding.

"Chief, I..."

"You want to leave early right, Henry?"

"Yes," Henry replied looking at Lassiter.

"Don't worry about it, we all are starting with half days and I already guessed that you and Carlton here would want to be at the prison when Shawn was released."

"Can Gus and I be there too, Henry?" Juliet asked hoping to be able to show Shawn the support he needed as well.

"Of course you can. I think Shawn is going to need to see that we all believe in him."

"Thank you," Juliet gave a small smile. She did believe that Shawn wouldn't have hurt them on purpose, but she could see there was still all that anger burning behind his eyes during the short trial.

"Shawn gets out at one, right?"

"Yes, Chief," Lassiter answered.

"So we all work until twelve and then meet outside the prison."

"Sounds like a plan," Henry said nodding and with that they returned to their appointed desks.

For all three of them, their first task was to sort out their desks from whatever the person doing their jobs while they were out had done. Once that was sorted, they started to go back through all the paperwork they had to do.

Each one of them watched the clock tick down.

Juliet had call Gus to let him know what was happening and he and Chloe would meet them at the prison at twelve thirty.

Henry, on the other hand, had been working hard. He had been hurt the most during the torture, both physically and mentally, so throwing himself into his work was doing him good. That was until he found a few discrepancies in the financial books. Looking at the clock, he saw that it was eleven forty-five. Frowning, he decided that it could wait until tomorrow as Shawn came first today.

Getting up, Henry put the books into his briefcase and walked over to Lassiter who seemed to be completely focused on his computer screen.

"We need to talk!"

Lassiter looked up at the older Spencer. "About?"

"Where Shawn is going to be staying."

The statement was straight to the point and felt to Lassiter that Henry had stabbed him right in the heart. He hadn't really thought about it. He just assumed that Shawn would be going home with him, but now, thinking about it, Shawn might not be ready for that to happen.

"Why don't we wait and ask Shawn where he wants to stay, I mean...I want him to come home with me, but he might not be ready for that."

"And whatever his decision is?"

"I will accept it."

"Thank you. As far as we know, Shawn might not want to say with any of us."

Lassiter just gave Henry a weak smile, but he understood where the older man was coming from.

Not long after, they all walked out of the station and headed off towards the prison. There were a few cars parked outside, each one waiting for a loved one to be released. They located Gus and parked next to him. While waiting, they went over the question about where Shawn would stay and Gus and Juliet agreed that if Shawn wanted to stay with them, he could.

Over the next half an hour three other men that were now free, walked out of the gate, hugged or kissed the one picking them up and then they drove away.

Suddenly, five phone alarms went off, each one a different ringtone, but everyone indicating Shawn's freedom was about to happen. As they turned off the alarms, a silence fell amongst them as they turned to face the opening gate.

A lone figure in a wheelchair slowly moved towards them.

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	2. The Shadow of the Man

**Chapter 2: The Shadow of the Man**

The gate opened and out wheeled Shawn. They all agreed that he looked a lot better than the last time they had seen him. No longer did Shawn look thin and sickly. There was colour in his cheeks and he had put on a lot of weight.

It wasn't until Shawn was a lot closer that they realised that, although he looked better on the outside, Shawn wasn't healed on the inside. His eyes were dead. There wasn't any spark in them, just a cold, dull stare and maybe, but none of them were sure, sorrow.

Smiling, Henry was the first to speak, "Shawn, you're...looking better."

Shawn's eyes slowly moved to look at his father and the smile that Henry was wearing, disappeared.

"If you say so," Shawn's voice was just as flat as his eyes, if not more so. "So, what now?"

"Well, we need to know where you want stay." Lassiter piped in. He really wanted Shawn to say he wanted to go home with him, but at the same time, he knew the chances of that would be very slim. After all, it was Lassie that had hurt him the most.

"I had to give a home address before I could leave. I put yours down, Dad." Shawn watched Lassiter's reaction. He could see the hurt and disappointment in the man's body, face and eyes, but he just wasn't ready to go down that track.

"Well...Shawn, whatever you want, we're all for you, buddy," Gus said trying to break the tension in the air.

"I'm no good, Gus, just...just get on with your life and forget me. You have a beautiful family now, just let go of the past. Can we go now, Dad?"

Henry looked over at Gus; the shock on his face was the same on Juliet's, but he didn't want to push Shawn, not just yet. "Sure," Henry replied as he picked up the small bag from Shawn's lap and walked over to his pick-up.

Without looking at the others, Shawn just followed his dad. Somehow, they were all expecting Shawn to do a wheelie, but it never came. Shawn just slowly wheeled himself over to the passenger side of the pick-up. Henry helped Shawn into his seat and then put the wheelchair into the back. Checking on Shawn first, Henry then walked back over to the others.

"Sorry Gus, Carlton, but..."

"Don't worry about it, Henry, Shawn comes first," Lassiter interrupted. Gus just nodded in agreement.

"Chief..."

"Forget it, Henry. You are officially on holidays as of now. Just keep us updated on how he is."

"Will do." Henry watched as Chief Vick gave him a smile.

She squeezed his hand and then headed off to her car. Before getting in, Karen looked over to Shawn. He wasn't doing anything. He wasn't looking around. He wasn't watching them. All Shawn was doing was looking down at his lap. Shaking her head, Karen climbed into her car and drove way, praying that Shawn would recover soon.

After Chief Vick had left, Henry turned back to the others. "Do you mind if I call on any of you, if I need help?"

"Not all," they all replied.

"Are you right to get him home?" Lassiter asked looking over to the pick-up.

"I should be, but I will let you know and Carlton...come over later, all of you. Shawn needs to know we're not going to abandon him."

"We will, just send us a text when you think it's time, Mr. Spencer," Gus replied.

"You better get going, Shawn is watching us now," Juliet added as Shawn looked up at them.

"Right, see you later." Henry replied giving them a concerned smile, he then gave Juliet a hug and shook the hands of Lassiter and Gus and then walked away.

They watched as Henry hopped into the pick-up, said something to Shawn who just nodded his answer and then drove away. After they were out of sight, Lassiter felt a hand on his shoulder. Turning he found Juliet staring at him.

"It's going to be ok, Carlton. Shawn just...he needs time to heal."

"I know, I just hope he hasn't been so damaged that we can't reach him."

Juliet moved in and gave Lassiter a hug and to her surprise, Lassiter hugged back. After they broke apart, Gus gave Lassiter a hand shake.

"See you later after Henry texts and don't worry. We...you got through to Shawn once, maybe we can do it again."

"You're right, Gus, we need to believe that our love for Shawn will help heal him. See you later."

With that, they headed home to wait for Henry's text.

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	3. Dinner That Night

**Chapter 3: Dinner That Night**

The drive back to Henry's place was a quiet one. In fact, it was so quiet Henry had to check on Shawn several times just to make sure he was still in the pick-up with him.

At first, Henry did try to start up a conversation with Shawn, but he wouldn't talk. Shawn just sat there staring out the window and Henry wondered what Shawn was thinking. But he was also afraid that if he pushed Shawn too much, he would withdraw even more and they would lose him to a depression he would never recover from.

Once they were home, it wasn't any different. Henry helped Shawn out of the pick-up and back into the wheelchair. And while Henry was getting Shawn's bag, Shawn made his way to the stairs.

This is when Henry paused. He hadn't thought about the stairs, but Shawn must have. Without saying a word, Shawn pushed himself up and stood on shaking legs. Then, holding onto the rails to steady himself, Shawn slowly stepped up onto the first step.

Dropping the bag into the seat of the wheelchair, Henry quickly picked it up and placed it on the deck. He then went back down and stood behind Shawn, just in case. It was only three steps, but by the time Shawn was sitting back down in his chair, he was out of breath and didn't resit when Henry pushed him to the door. Inside, Henry finally got a response from Shawn.

"What do you want to do now? Do you want lunch?"

"No, I just want to go to my room and rest."

"Alright. Do you want a hand?"

"I'll be fine. I need to learn to do things on my own."

"Shawn..."

"Dad, don't...just don't. I will be here only as long as I need to be. I won't get in your way."

"You're not in my way. I've taken time off work so I can be here for you. The same for Gus, Juliet and Carlton. Even Karen and McNab have offered to help."

"I don't want their help, especially Detective Lassiter. He needs to move on," Shawn looked straight into his dad's eyes. "I have." And with that Shawn pushed himself towards his down stairs bedroom.

Henry couldn't believe the anger in Shawn's eyes. The problem was, Henry didn't know who Shawn was angry at, him or Carlton or if Shawn's anger was aimed directly at himself and he was just using it to keep them at bay. Well, Shawn was about to get a huge surprise, as none of them were going anywhere.

It was about six in the evening before he sent the texts out. By the time everyone arrived, Henry had the steaks cooked and the vegetables just about done.

When Henry returned from getting Shawn for dinner, he couldn't believe how quiet it was or how awkward the atmosphere seemed to be. No one seemed to know what to say, so Henry just dished out dinner in hopes that over food everyone, including Shawn, would relax.

He was wrong.

If you ever wanted a silent night, Henry had it right there. No one said a word. Not about work or how they had been and everyone seemed to try and do their best not to look at Shawn. At lease Carlton did look at Shawn, but the sidewards glances were so quick that Henry wasn't too sure that even Shawn would have seen them.

Even Shawn didn't say anything. Henry was sure that after earlier, he would have complained about them all being there, but no, not a word and he didn't eat much either. Sick of this, Henry stared at Lassiter.

"Carlton, can you help me dish out desert please." The tone Henry used left no space for refusal.

"Of course, Henry," Lassiter replied not willing to upset his father-in-law.

They headed into the kitchen where Henry took the pineapple upside down cake and custard out of the fridge. As he cut and dished up the pieces of cake, Lassiter poured the custard over them.

"What's going on?"

"What do you mean, Henry?"

"Why is everyone so quiet?"

"Well, for me, I'm not too sure what to say to Shawn."

"Then don't!"

"Don't...what?"

"Don't talk to Shawn, talk to me or Gus or someone. If we start talking, then Shawn might join in."

"Ok, I will start when we go back out, but then, why didn't you say something?"

"I was going to, but...I guess it was the same reason as you, as...probably for all of us. None of us were really ready for Shawn to be this way, were we?"

No, we weren't, I'm sorry, I should have thought about this and..."

"Don't be, I didn't realise it was going to be so hard with Shawn being here. I mean, I didn't even think about the stairs."

"How did you..."

"I didn't, it seems that Shawn can still walk a little and he walked up the stairs himself."

"That's good, isn't it?"

"I hope so, but you need to tread carefully. He's full of anger and I'm not sure who he's angry at or with, but I do know that he believes that we don't care and that he is no good for any of us. He even said that you need to move on."

"I'm not giving up on him. I love Shawn too much to give up."

"I know and hopefully he will see that. It might take some time, but I believe we will get there."

Lassiter just nodded his agreement and then grabbed some of the plates. They walked out and placed the dessert in front of the others who were still sitting there as quiet as mice.

It was Lassiter that placed the plate in front of Shawn and when he did, Shawn looked up at him. Smiling Lassiter said, "It's your favourite, pineapple upside down cake and custard." Lassiter was shock when Shawn gave him a small smile.

Taking his seat across from Shawn, Lassiter turned to Juliet. "So, Jules, how was work?"

"Ok, we didn't have much happen, but it will be better when you, Chief Vick and Henry are back to full time."

"I for one will be glad to be back at work," Gus piped in.

"When do you go back Gus?" Chief Vick asked.

"I'm not allowed until I've been cleared by the doctors at work. So it could still be a week or two, but that will give me time to find someone to look after Chloe for us."

"Actually, Karen, since I won't be back for awhile, I need to talk to you about something later."

"Ok, Henry, I could always come around in the morning."

"That would be good and..."

"You said that you had taken your holidays to look after me. Did you lie, Dad?"

Everyone fell silent when Shawn spoke.

"No Shawn, since Juliet hadn't been hurt, she returned to work not long after..."

"You all escaped from me?"

"No, I was going to say, after the trial. The rest of us, except for Gus, returned to half day duty today, but because you wanted to stay here..."

"I gave Henry the time off to do so. And no matter how long it takes, yours and your dad's jobs will be there when you are ready to return to work." Chief Vick clarified.

"Don't go out of your way for me. I won't be returning. As soon as I don't have to be fixed to an address, I will be leaving Santa Barbara...for good."

"Things change, Shawn. Between now and then, you could change your mind."

"Like you did when you cheated on me? I'm sorry, Detective Lassiter, I know I was..."

"Stop it! I never cheated on you. I didn't tell you that I was doing an undercover job to protect you. You were in pain and not thinking straight. That kiss, the one when you were just about ready to kill us all, meant something to me and I'm sure it meant something to you or else...we wouldn't be here now."

They all waited for Shawn's reply, but all he did was pull himself from the table and pushed himself back to his room. From that point on, everyone finished up and headed home.

"Sorry I ruined your dinner, Henry," Lassiter said as he headed out.

"I'm not. What you said to Shawn needed to be said, but whether or not tonight was the right moment, only time will tell. Goodnight, Carlton."

"Goodnight, Henry."

With that Henry closed the door and headed to bed. Hopefully tomorrow will be a lot better.

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	4. Decisions are Made

**Chapter 4: Decisions are Made**

Gus stood in his daughter's room. Looking down at her sleeping face, he was glad that at least someone could sleep tonight.

He was too worried to sleep. Gus had seen Shawn at his worst or at least, he thought he had, but tonight, well...tonight he had seen a side of Shawn he had never seen before. It was a silent Shawn and for once, it scared him.

Sure he was glad that Shawn was safe and for the most part, unharmed. In fact he was very grateful that they all had survived this last attack. But a quiet Shawn meant a thinking Shawn and a thinking Shawn is a very dangerous Shawn.

Walking out of Chloe's room, Gus made his way to the kitchen. There he found Juliet and two hot mugs of coffee. Smiling, Gus sat down and wrapped his hands around the steaming drink.

"Is Chloe asleep?" Juliet's voice was low and full of worry and sympathy.

Gus just nodded, but didn't look up from the mug.

"Gus..." Juliet was worried how he was going to react to her question, but she needed to ask it. "Is Shawn safe?"

"Safe..." the word just seemed to roll off his tongue so easily. "Yes, Shawn is safe. We just need to change the way we deal with Shawn. He's...broken and each piece needs to be put back together in a certain way if we want to get the old Shawn back."

"Change? How?"

"Shawn, he...he needs us to take off the kid gloves. We need to use tough love with him and if that means not letting him push us away or yelling at him or just getting in his way until he understands we're not going anywhere, so be it."

"I will do whatever you want me to do as long as there is no chance Chloe will get hurt."

"She won't. Shawn couldn't hurt her before and he won't do it now. Come on, let's go to bed."

"I'll just rinse off the cups and then I will join you."

Gus drank the last bit of his coffee and then gave Juliet a kiss. "Don't be long."

"I won't be." Juliet watched as Gus walked away.

After rinsing off the cups, Juliet checked on Chloe. As she stood in the doorway, she prayed that Gus was right and that Chloe would get to know the crazy side of Shawn. Yawning, Juliet joined Gus in bed. Hopefully tomorrow would be a better day.

Chief Vick had managed to get some sleep, but through the night Iris started to run a high fever and she just wanted to keep an eye on her. So when her phone started ringing early in the morning, she was sitting in her lounge reading a book. The call was from the last person she was expecting...Shawn and what he told her made her blood run cold.

As soon as Lassiter was inside his house, he broke down. He had hoped that Shawn would be there. That Shawn would have chosen to stay with him, but instead Shawn had decided to go to his dad's and Lassiter, although reluctantly, had to respect Shawn's decision.

Walking over to the fridge, Lassiter grabbed a beer and opened it. As the fridge door shut, the picture that he had placed there of Shawn and him on their wedding day came into sight. Lassiter carefully ran his ring finger over Shawn's face and as his wedding ring shone in the dull kitchen light, the tears started to fall.

Lassiter had never been a man for crying, but the love of Shawn Spencer had changed that. In fact, it had changed a lot of things and one of them was how much strength he actually had in him.

He had always thought himself to be a very strong person, both physically and emotionally, but Shawn had shown him that he wasn't; at least not as strong as he could have been. Shawn had shown him how he depended too much on alcohol to cope with his stress and personal problems and he had nearly stopped drinking altogether. But when Shawn disappeared, he had started drinking again.

Staring at the open bottle of beer, Lassiter started to feel sick. How many drinks did he have at Henry's and had Shawn noticed? Of course Shawn would have noticed. Shaking his head, Lassiter walked over the poured the liquid contents of the bottle down the sink. He watched as the brown liquid swirled and disappeared. He then rinsed out the sink. After that Lassiter went around and found every bottle or can of alcohol he could, opened them and emptied them into the sink. As he watched it disappear, so did some of the stress of the day.

If he wanted Shawn back, Lassiter knew he would have to change and he was willing to do just that.

Too stressed to sleep, Lassiter cleaned the whole house from top to bottom. He got rid of the rubbish and clutter, including his crime board, before collapsing onto the lounge and falling into a deep sleep.

But he was woken four hours later by someone banging on his front door. When he opened it, he was surprised to find Chief Vick on his doorstep, but what she said next shocked him even more.

"Henry's been shot!"

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	5. Arresting Developments

**Chapter 5: Arresting Developments**

Lassiter stared at his Chief. _'Was she mad? How could Henry have been shot and what about Shawn?'_ These questions and many more swirled around in his head.

"Lassiter, did you hear what I said?"

"Yes...What about Shawn? Are they both ok?"

"Shawn is fine, in shock, but unharmed. As for Henry, the last thing I heard was that he was in surgery."

"What happened?"

"Not sure. Shawn has only been able to give us bits and pieces at the moment. He was in his room when he heard the shots and...and by the time he got out to where Henry was laying, whoever shot him was gone."

"And since I can't work on the case because of my duties, you need me to talk to Shawn?"

"Yes, I know this is a lot to ask considering what happened tonight, but we have no other choice."

"Choice or not, I want to be there for Shawn. Just give me a second to grab my coat." Chief Vick nodded and watched as her Head Detective disappeared back inside. He was only gone for a few seconds before returning.

Once they were driving Lassiter asked, "Do Juliet and Gus know?" His voice was low and Chief Vick nearly missed the question.

"I've sent some officers around to tell them so they may already be at the hospital waiting."

Lassiter nodded his reply and for the rest of the drive, neither of them spoke. Both were lost in their own thoughts.

Lassiter's thoughts were solely on Shawn and how he was handling all of this and the fact that he might have to move in with him for now. At these thoughts Lassiter was angry. He was being selfish, both hopeful that maybe this is what might be a chance for them to reconnect and guilty over the fact that he was even thinking of himself and Shawn while Henry was most likely fighting for his life.

Pulling up at the hospital, Lassiter saw Gus standing just inside the front doors. He looked worried. Chief Vick had also seen Gus and swallowing down the lump in her throat, she went to get out, but when she realised that Lassiter hadn't moved. She reached over and gave him a nudge.

"You alright, Carlton?"

He blinked a few times before replying. "Yes, I'm fine. Gus looks worried."

"I agree, but let's find out why before we start to worry too much. You know how he over worries things."

"That's true." And with that they both hopped out and after the Chief locked the doors, they walked over to Gus.

"Gus, how's Henry doing and..." Chief Vick paused as she looked around, "where's Juliet and Chloe?"

"They're upstairs waiting in case some news comes through. As for Mr. Spencer, he is still in surgery, but it's Shawn I'm more worried about."

"Why is that?" Lassiter asked before turning to Chief Vick. "You said Shawn wasn't hurt?"

"He wasn't! Gus, what happened?"

"That young detective you put in charge of the investigation," Gus sounded angry. "He's taken Shawn back to the station and has arrested him for shooting his dad."

"WHAT?" Lassiter yelled. He wasn't really angry at Gus; he was unfortunately just the messenger. "How can he even ..."

"That's enough, Detective!" Chief Vick snapped. She knew the last few years have been hard on them all, especially Lassiter, but they really needed to keep their heads about themselves right now. "Mr. Guster...Gus, I will take Detective Lassiter with me and see if I can find out what's going on at the station." She gave Lassiter a quick look and he nodded his agreement. "Can you please let us know if there is any news about Henry?"

"You will be the first I call. I better get back to Juliet and please...can you let me ..."

"You didn't need to ask. As soon as I know why and what is happening to Shawn, you will be the first to know." With that the three of them parted. Once in the car, Chief Vick turned to Lassiter. "I know it's hard for you. I know that right now you want to rip Detective Johnston's throat out, but god help me, Carlton, if you say one word, or do anything to hurt him, I will ..."

"Got it!" Lassiter said through gritted teeth. "Shawn is guilty until proven innocent. It's just...he wouldn't, Shawn wouldn't have shot Henry, he just wouldn't have!"

"I know," Karen said putting a comforting hand on his arm. "But you know just as I do, Shawn was always going to be a suspect until proven otherwise. Shall we go and see what we can do for him?"

Lassiter just nodded his head yes, so Karen gave Carlton's arm a light squeeze before she faced forward, started the car and drove away. She just hoped for Shawn's sake Lassiter would be able to keep it together.

As soon as Gus had arrived back to the waiting room he explained to Juliet what was happening. They were both glad that the Chief was looking into why Shawn was arrested, but they were also worried about what Lassiter was going to do as well.

They sat there taking turns holding Chloe, while the other took a small break. Juliet was just falling asleep when a doctor walked through the door. Looking at the doctor's face told them all they needed to know and instantly their hearts fell to their stomachs.

The doctor shook his head. "I'm sorry ..."

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	6. A Change of Plans

**Chapter 6: A Change of Plans**

Chief Vick gave Lassiter one more warning before they headed into the station. Seeing as it was still night, the station was just about empty except for the night shift skeleton crew. But even though it was quiet, every officer watched as their Chief and Head Detective walked across the bullpen floor to Detective Johnston's desk.

The young Detective looked up at the approaching figures, and was honestly surprised to find it was Chief Vick and Detective Lassiter. As they reached him, Detective Johnston stood up and greeted them. "Chief Vick, Detective Lassiter," looking between them, he could see that they seemed to be upset about something. Detective Lassiter seem even more upset then the Chief though. "Can I help you?"

"Detective Johnston," Chief Vick started, but made sure she was between the young detective and Lassiter. "I won't tell you how to do your job, at least not if I see you are doing the right thing, but can you please explain to me, why you have arrested Shawn Spencer for the shooting of his father?"

Taking a deep breath, to steady his nerves, Detective Johnston replied. "With respect, Chief Vick, I didn't arrest him. I brought him in for questioning. Mr. Spencer was the only other person in the house at the time of the shooting. He has also just gotten out of jail after trying to kill his father and from what I've been told, yourself and others." He paused as he looked over at Lassiter who had taken a step closer. "I just wanted to check out his story."

"That's fine, but why didn't you question him at the hospital?" Lassiter kept his voice low and calm but it still shook a little with anger.

"I'm sorry, Detective Lassiter, but I viewed Mr. Spencer's track record of just packing up and leaving whenever he felt like it, was a high flight risk, especially considering the situation."

"A flight risk...Shawn? He's in a damn wheelchair you fool, and ..."

"And he can walk!"

"Sorry," Chief Vick butted in, before Lassiter could kill Detective Johnston.

"Mr. Spencer can walk and if he can walk, then he can run."

"Shawn would not shoot Henry and he would not run away. I guarantee it!"

"Guarantee or not, he is still a suspect and will be treated as such unless...you want to take over this case, Detective?"

"You know I can't and ..."

"Have you arrested Mr. Spencer?" Chief Vick asked.

"No!"

"Have you finished interviewing him?"

"Yes, Ma'am."

"Then he is free to go for now?"

"Yes, but..."

"Detective Lassiter, will you take full responsibility for Shawn?"

"Yes, Chief, I will."

"Good, you will hand Shawn over to Detective Lassiter and if and when you need to talk to him again, you will contact Detective Lassiter. Do I make myself clear, Detective Johnston?"

"Yes, ma'am. I will go and get him now!" And with that Detective Johnston stormed off.

"I expect you to keep a good eye on him, Carlton. If anything happens ..."

"It won't, I promise."

Lassiter looked beyond his Chief and watched as Detective Johnston pushed Shawn over to them. Shawn was still in his pyjamas, but unlike the SpongeBob SquarePants or Pineapple covered ones that he use to wear, these were just plain grey in colour. Shawn had his head down looking at his hands, but looked up when Detective Johnston stopped.

"Mr. Spencer, Detective Lassiter will be taking you home with him. If you leave his care, or I ring up and he has no idea where you are, I will be issuing an arrest warrant on both of you. Do you understand?"

"Yes," Shawn answered, but he didn't take his eyes off Lassiter. "Do you know how my Dad is, Chief Vick?"

"We haven't heard anymore other then he was still in surgery." As if there was a need to break the silence that had fallen between them, Chief Vick's phone rang out. Looking at the Caller ID, she saw it was from Gus. She quickly answered it. "Gus, is there any news?"

"Yes, Chief and...Henry's gone, at least he's now in a safer place."

"Ok, we will be there soon." Hanging up, Chief Vick turned to face the expectant faces. Placing a hand on Shawn's shoulder, Chief Vick said in a low voice, "Shawn, I am so sorry," and then she turned to Detective Johnston. "Plans have changed. You're now looking for Mr. Henry Spencer's murderer.

Detective Johnston looked at Shawn and watched as Lassiter, too, placed a comforting hand onto Shawn's shoulder. He also watched as Shawn shrugged it off, showing no emotions at all. Turning back to Chief Vick he replied, "Yes, Chief, I'll get on it right away." with that he walked away.

"I'm sorry, Shawn."

"I want to see my Dad, please?"

"We'll take you to the hospital now." And Lassiter pushed Shawn towards the front doors of the station.

**Thank you for reading and reviewing my story.**


	7. Shawn and Lassiter have a Talk

**Chapter 7: Shawn and Lassiter have a Talk**

Chief Vick got Lassiter to drive Shawn to the hospital in his car, saying that she needed to make a phone call before she could leave, but she would still met them there. After watching them drive away, Chief Vick quickly pulled out her phone and made the call.

"It's Chief Vick, we have a problem. Shawn and Lassiter are on their way to the hospital to see Henry's body. I need them stopped before they get there."

"How would you like it done?"

"Anyway you can."

"I can run them off the road, if you want."

"That will do, just don't kill them."

"I'll try not to...they just drove past me, I'll see you later, Chief Vick."

Karen looked at the phone that was now emitting the disconnection tone. She just hoped that he could stop Lassiter before he reached the hospital, otherwise it would destroy their plans. Letting out a frustrating sigh, she climbed into her car and headed off to the hospital. Hopefully she will have to stop at a traffic accident.

Lassiter kept looking over at Shawn. He was worried. Shawn didn't need this right now. He needed his dad's support, not to have a young, gung-ho detective thinking that he is a suspect in his own father's murder.

"Shawn..." Lassiter paused for a second, not too sure what to say. "Detective Johnston said that you can walk. Is that true?"

"Maybe," Shawn answered as he turned his head to look at Lassiter. "Why? Do you think I murdered Dad, too?"

"No, I know you didn't do it and Johnston was out of line by taking you down to the station like that, it's just...if you can walk, it's a great step forward."

"For who?"

"For you, of course. Are you still in pain?"

"Do you mean physical or mental?"

"Shawn, look..."

"No, Detective Lassiter. I'm sorry, that wasn't called for. I'm just...tired and with Dad, I..."

Seeing that Shawn was getting upset, Lassiter pulled over to the side of the road. He wanted so bad to pull Shawn into a hug and tell him it was going to be ok, but he knew that right now, wasn't the best time to do that. Right now Shawn just needed support and that was what he was going to get.

Reaching over, Lassiter placed a hand on Shawn's shoulder. He could feel Shawn's sobs under his hand. He would wait until Shawn calmed down before he got back on the road. It was about five minutes later that Shawn raised his head and wiped his eyes.

Looking over to Lassiter Shawn smiled a sad smile at him, but it also had gratitude in it. "Thank you, Carlton, I needed that."

"And if you need to do it again, just let me know and we will give you the privacy you need. Are you ready to go?"

"No, not yet."

"Ok, then we will wait here until you are."

"Why are you doing this?"

"Doing what, Shawn?" 

"This, why are you anywhere near me? Why do you believe that I didn't kill Dad? Why? I don't understand. I was going to kill you. I put you and Dad and everyone else through hell and yet...even now, when as far as you know I could have killed my Dad, you want to help me. Why?"

"Because I love you!" The words were straight to the point. He loved Shawn and the statement left no doubt about it.

"Do you know what I had planned for you?"

"No, but it doesn't matter because I know that you wouldn't have been able to do it."

"You're wrong! I was going to make you watch as I killed the others, and then...I was going to kiss you, while I shot myself with your gun."

"Why?"

"You had already been living in hell, blaming yourself for my assumed death. I was going to just add to it, with the fact that you couldn't save them or me. It would have destroyed you."

"Well, it didn't happen that way, Shawn. The truth came out and a kiss saved us all, including you. I understand your anger, your frustration. You are hurting in more ways than I will ever understand and you are afraid of getting hurt again. That, I do understand. The other thing I understand is that I love you and I will never stop loving you. I don't know if we will ever get back together again or even be friends, but no matter what Shawn, I will always be here if you need me."

"You're right, I am afraid. I'm afraid of getting hurt again, not just by you, but by everyone I know. But I'm more afraid of hurting one of you if I lose control. He...he messed with my head bad and I'm still trying to work out what is real and what are the lies he told me and now...this with Dad, I don't know. I really don't know if I'm the one that killed him."

"I believe in you, Shawn, and I believe you didn't hurt Henry. And I will be right here by your side to prove it."

Shawn looked over at Lassiter, but the smile he was wearing quickly disappeared as the sight of the car racing towards them. Lassiter saw the look on Shawn's face and turned just in time to see the car before it struck them.

Shawn could see and hear the metal frame of the car buckling as it rolled over and over, before coming to rest on its wheels. The car that had struck them had gone flying over the top and landed metres from where their wrecked car now sat.

Looking over at Lassiter, Shawn could see the blood that was flowing freely from the cut on Lassiter's head and since his eyes were closed and he wasn't moving, Shawn could tell that he was unconscious. The last thing Shawn could recall was hearing sirens and a blurred face looking through the window at them before his world grew black.

**Thank you for reading and reviewing my story.**


	8. Another Attack on Shawn

**Chapter 8: Another Attack on Shawn**

When Shawn came to, he was scared. Memories of the room that Hogan and his friend had held him in came rushing back. He could feel someone giving him a needle and he started to fight back.

"Nooooo, I won't let you," he screamed at the top of his lungs. "I won't...I can't..." His will to fight was sucked from him by the medication that was being pumped into his veins. Then the world went black.

When he woke up again, the fear was still there, but he just couldn't move. At first he thought it was the drugs, but after a while he realised that he was strapped down. Trying to calm his breathing, Shawn closed his eyes, that was, until he heard Lassie's voice.

"I think he's awake."

Shawn reopened his eyes just as Lassiter's face came into view. "Lassie?" Shawn was happy to see him, but at the same time, he was scared and worried. After all, he was tied up and Lassiter had cuts and bruises all over his face. Looking around, Shawn composed himself, He needed to keep Lassiter and the others away from him; they were ever going to be safe. "Detective Lassiter, what's happening?" Shawn watched as the glimmer of hurt flashed across Lassiter's face.

"We were in an accident. You're in the hospital."

"Why am I tied up then?"

"So you won't hurt yourself or anyone else, Mr Spencer."

Shawn tilted his head to the side to see a stranger's face. By the white coat, he could tell that he was a doctor. "What do you mean?"

"When you came to the first time, you had some sort of panic attack and you scratched one of the nurses. We had to restrain you for your own protection as well as ours. Can you tell me what happened?"

"I...the...the room looked like the one Hogan had me held up in and I just...I didn't want to go through that again and..."

Seeing that Shawn was getting upset, the doctor put a hand on his shoulder. "It's ok, you're safe now. Detective Lassiter, can you please step out while we remove the restrains and give Mr. Spencer an examination."

Lassiter nodded at the doctor and then placed a hand on Shawn's shoulder. "I'll just be outside, Shawn. Ok?"

Shawn looked at Lassiter again, but quickly looked away when once again he saw the pain and love in his eyes. He still loved Lassiter, but he couldn't see how Lassiter could still love him after everything he had done. "Whatever, Detective."

Lassiter just nodded at the doctor and then walked out. Once he was in the hall Lassiter saw Chief Vick sitting on a nearby chair. He walked up to her. "Chief?"

Chief Vick looked up when she heard her name, but she didn't like the sight that greeted her. Lassiter looked like he had been through the wringer and back. His left arm was in a sling and he was walking with a limp, but the way his face was cut up and bruised it made her regret the orders she had given McNab. But then again, she hadn't been expecting him to run them off the road that way.

As Lassiter reached her, Chief Vick stood up. "How is he?"

"Awake and alive," and then he added through gritted teeth, "more than I can say for the driver that hit us when I get my hands on him."

"Can I remind you that you are a detective...Detective, and as such, those words are not acceptable."

"Sorry, Chief, it's just...it's just not fair. Shawn shouldn't be going through all this after what he's been through; Hogan and then prison and now his dad being murdered and him the prime suspect according to the detective you have put in charge. Why is all this happening?"

"I'm sorry, Carlton." Chief Vick just rubbed his arm and gave him a sad smile. "Who knows, this could be the silver lining you are looking for."

"Maybe, but I can't see it."

"Detective Lassiter," Lassiter turned to see the doctor standing near Shawn's door. "You can go back in and see him."

"Thank you, Doctor."

Lassiter looked back at Chief Vick, who just nodded at him. After giving her a smile, he turned and marched back into the room.

Once he was inside she spoke to the closed door. "I'm sorry, Detective, but we can't let you get involved in this." Taking out her phone, Chief Vick called McNab. "I have another job for you, It's to do with Lassiter and Shawn again, but be more careful, you nearly killed them the last time."

And with that Chief Vick walked away to make plans to keep Shawn and Lassiter away from the station.

Lassiter sat beside Shawn's bed watching the monitors. Ever since he re-entered the room, Shawn had refused to look at him and not wanting to push him, Lassiter kept his mouth shut. As the silence filled the room, the noise the monitors gave out had a calming rhythm and slowly Lassiter's eyes closed.

Shawn himself had fallen asleep from the combination of the noise and the medication he had been given. But when he felt something over his face, it didn't really register until pressure was placed and he couldn't breathe. Frantic to push away whatever it was, Shawn lashed out with his arms, knocking over the rack that had the drip on it.

The noise woke Lassiter up. At first he thought Shawn was having a nightmare. That was until he saw a figure dressed in black standing over him, holding a pillow over his head.

"Stop!" Lassiter shouted as he stood up.

The man stood back and as Lassiter tried to hobble around to him, the man made his way out of the room. Lassiter quickly pulled the pillow off Shawn's head and hit the call button. As soon as one nurse was there to look after Shawn, he reported to another one as to what had happen.

As soon as Shawn was cleared from having anymore harm done to him and the nurses left the room, Lassiter threw him his clothes.

"What's this for?"

"Just get dressed, Spencer. You're not safe here, so I'm taking you away to somewhere that's safe."

"Really! If someone is after me, let them come, but you get yourself a safe distance from me, so you don't get hurt."

"Shawn," Lassiter growled as he took a step closer to the man on the bed. "I'm not going to lose you again. You might not want to be with me again and if you want a divorce, I will give that to you, too, but I'm not going to let you die. I've already failed you once, but not again. So, get, dressed." Lassiter's face was just inches from Shawn's now.

He watched as the man he loved swallowed and nodded his head. Lassiter moved away and turned his back so Shawn could get dressed. Then they sneaked out of the hospital and Lassiter hailed a taxi.

**Thank you for reading and reviewing my story.**


	9. Remembering the Past

**Chapter 9: Remembering the Past**

They changed taxis and buses about seven times before Lassiter was sure they couldn't be followed. It took a long time since Lassiter had left Shawn's wheelchair behind, so when they finally reached the dingy hotel room, Shawn just collapsed onto one of the beds.

"Shawn...I'm sorry that I..."

"You're alright, Carlton," Shawn groaned. "I do understand why you did it. I just need to rest."

"You can rest all you like. Until we find out who killed your dad and is now trying to kill you, you won't be leaving this room."

Shawn pushed himself up onto his elbows and stared at Lassiter. Right now, he would love to grab that strong Irish detective before him and kiss the life out of him. That's what he would like to do, right...but instead, his thoughts changed to how Lassiter had betrayed him and the anger inside started to boil again.

Shaking his head, he laid down and tried to push the bad thoughts away, but the more he tried, the more the images of Lassiter kissing that man entered in his head, then he was flooded with all the images that Hogan showed him.

Closing his eyes didn't help either. The more he fought it, the sicker he became. Finally it was too much and with his body protesting the sudden movement, Shawn made his way to the bathroom.

As he emptied the only food he had that day down the toilet, Shawn felt a hand on his back, slowly rubbing in gentle circles. He tried to push it away, but he didn't have the physical strength, let alone the will to do it.

"I'm sorry I pushed you, Shawn."

"Don't...worry...a...bout...it..." Shawn managed in between heaves.

"Well I do."

Shawn sat down on the floor and watched as Lassiter flushed the toilet and grabbed a wet cloth. Even while wiping his face down, Shawn still kept an eye on Lassiter. He still couldn't understand why Lassiter cared.

"Well...you shouldn't. You should have let ..." Shawn waved his arm around as he tried to recall who he was thinking of. "That man in the hospital kill me. At least you would be safe...from me." Shawn whispered the last part as he stood up and walked over to the sink.

Lassiter watched as Shawn rinsed out his mouth and thoughts entered his head. _'Did he just hear Shawn right? Does Shawn think he's a danger to him?' How can he get through to Shawn that he does, has and always will, love him?' _

"Shawn, I will never let anyone to hurt you again. I promise you."

Shawn turned and looked back at Lassiter and the look of despair in Shawn's eyes nearly killed him. "Why don't you just run," Shawn said shaking his head.

"The only place I want to run to is your arms."

"Do you know what was going through my head in there?" Shawn said pointing back towards the room. "I could see you kissing that man again and again and then I...I just filled up with anger. The next thing I knew, the images that Hogan made me watch were there and I wanted to kill you. Do you hear me? I wanted to kill you."

"But you didn't. You fought it, even though it made you physically sick. You fought the feelings, which means you don't want to hurt me. Come on, let's let you lay down so you can get some sleep and I better let the Chief know that we're safe."

"You still have your phone?"

"No," Lassiter replied as he sat Shawn on the bed. "I left it at the hospital; there's a payphone just down the street. I will use that."

"They can still track it, search the hotels and find us."

"Don't worry, I will work something out."

Lassiter sat on the little chair as he thought about what he was going to do. He really did need to let his Chief know that they were safe, but Shawn was right, it would be too easy for them to track the call.

Looking out the small crack between the window and curtain, Lassiter could see that it had started to rain. Looking back at Shawn, he smiled a little as he remembered that it was a stormy night that he finally showed Shawn how he felt about him. '

Even back then, Shawn didn't believe him and ran out in front of a truck, but he survived and they married. Shawn amazed everyone at the wedding by standing and walking up to him on the altar. It was there and then, Lassiter knew that they would be able to overcome everything life would throw at them. They did it back then and they will do it again now.

As a plan formed in his head, Lassiter stood up, quickly wrote a note to Shawn about where he was going and then walked out the door and into the rain. He needed to be quick. He didn't want to leave Shawn on his own for long, but right now, he really did need to make a call.

**Thank you for reading and reviewing my story.**


	10. Plans Are Made

**Chapter 10: Plans Are Made**

Detective Urban Col let out a loud groan as he rolled over in his bed. He had just come off work after doing two shifts and he was tired. Fumbling around for his phone, he was just about to kill the person on the other end.

"Detective Col here, and whatever you want, better be good."

"Did I wake you, Urban?"

"Who..." Detective Col said as he pulled his phone away and looked at the caller ID. 'UNKNOWN' flashed away. Shaking his head, he put the phone back to his ear. "Who is this?"

"Detective Carlton Lassiter, do you remember me?"

"Carlton, of course I remember you, sorry, been pulling double shifts. What's up?"

"I need a favour."

"I guessed that since you're calling at this time of night. What is it?" Col managed to say through a yawn.

"I need you to go to a pay phone and call my Chief, but I need you to hold your mobile phone up so I can talk to her."

"Okay, why?"

"I'm here with my husband. Someone just killed his father and has had two attempts at his life as well. I need everyone to think that we have left Santa Barbara in order to keep him safe. Can you do that for me?"

"So you want them to think that you are in New York, instead of Santa Barbara. Sure, I can do that, but...you will have to give some time between you leaving and then getting here."

"I know, I was going to ring in the morning, but I wanted to check with you first."

"Ring me back around nine, that gives you time to get here and to find a hotel."

"Sounds great, I owe you one. Talk to you in the morning."

"Goodnight, Carlton, and good luck."

With that both detectives hung up, one went back to bed, while the other headed over to the small fast food joint and then back to the sleazy hotel room. Opening the door, fear set in when Shawn was nowhere to be seen.

"You look worried."

Lassiter looked away from the bed to find Shawn leaning on the bathroom door frame. Letting out a sigh of relief, Lassiter walked over to him.

Holding out a hand, Lassiter asked, "You need a hand?"

"Thanks," Shawn replied as he took the hand Lassiter was holding out.

Lassiter helped him to one of the hard looking chairs in the room. "Are you alright?" Lassiter asked as he watched Shawn's face twitch with pain.

"I will be fine. Just a little bit of pain, I can handle it. Where were you?"

"Organising a way to talk to the Chief without her knowing where we are."

"And how are you going to pull that off?"

"I have a Detective friend in New York, I'm calling him back about nine tomorrow and he's going to hold his phone up to a pay phone's receiver, so I can talk to Chief Vick. That way, if they track it, it will go to New York, not here in Santa Barbara."

"Sounds like a solid plan to me. Who would have thought that Detective Lassiter could be so...cunning?"

"You did, once," Lassiter answered in a sad tone. "Sorry, I shouldn't have …"

"Carlton, don't. I'm the one that should be sorry. Sorry for everything that has happened to you. If we hadn't met, you would be happy now."

"I am happy. I'm happy because after all those years thinking that you might be dead, you were alive and that...maybe, there's a chance that we could be friends once again."

Lassiter searched Shawn's eyes in hope that they would give him some glimmer of hope. Shawn was doing the same, but he was looking for deception in Lassie's eyes, but neither finding what they were looking for.

Looking away, Shawn asked, "Do you have something to eat?"

"Yeah, I grabbed some food when I was out." Lassiter walked over to the first bed and picked up the small bag he had put down there. He then returned to sit next to Shawn in the other seat, taking out some plastic containers. "There's a noodle of some sort, a curry and a stew."

"I'll take the curry if that's ok with you?"

"Sure." Lassiter said as he handed over the curry.

They sat there eating in silence. Every so often, Shawn would glance at Lassiter and Lassiter would do the same, but neither spoke a word. When finished, Shawn went to the toilet again and then headed to bed.

Once Lassiter was sure Shawn was comfortable, he too headed off to the toilet. While in there, Lassiter did something he hadn't done in a long time, he prayed.

"Lord,

I don't know if I'm doing this right or not, but please, keep Shawn safe. He's been through a lot and I think it's time for him to have a rest from all the bad luck he's been having.

He's just lost his father and now, and now the killer, or killers, are after him and it's just not fair. Shawn is a good man, with a good heart and he deserves better.

So if you can find it in your heart, pleases, just give him a break for all the hell you seem to put him through."

Amen."

"No one's ever prayed for me before."

Lassiter looked up to see Shawn standing in the doorway. "I thought you were asleep."

"I can't sleep. Too used to someone being in the same room as me. It's a prison thing," Shawn said as he shrugged his shoulders.

"I'll be right out," Lassiter replied as he watched Shawn turn and walk away slowly.

When he did come out, he found Shawn sitting on the edge of the bed, crying.

"Shawn," Lassiter said as he sat down beside him, "what's wrong?"

"Dad. He really is dead, isn't he?"

"That's what the Chief said. Shawn, I'm..."

"Hold me," Shawn looked up into Lassiter's eyes.

Lassiter just nodded and they climbed into bed under the covers. Shawn had his back to him, so Lassiter just spooned himself against his back, wrapping his arms around Shawn's waist. It felt so good to feel Shawn in his arms again and this is how they fell asleep.

**Thank you for reading and reviewing my story.**


	11. A Kiss and a Phone Call

**Chapter 11: A Kiss and a Phone Call**

When Lassiter opened his eyes the next morning, he opened them to a sight he never thought he would see again, that of Shawn watching him while he slept. Shawn's eyes watched him. They seemed to be looking for something, but what, Lassiter wasn't sure.

But what he does see is that Shawn is having a fight inside his own mind. There is pain, regret, confusion and...love. He can see it now; way in the back of Shawn's eyes is the love he has for Lassie and by the look of it that love is fighting it's way to the front.

Desperate to help that fight along, Lassiter reached out. At first, he stroked Shawn's cheek and when he didn't pull away, Lassiter moved it to the back of Shawn's head and ran his fingers through Shawn's hair. Lassiter is rewarded for this action by Shawn closing his eyes, pushing back into his fingers and letting a slight groan escape from his lips.

Taking a bigger chance, Lassiter lifted himself up as he pulled Shawn's head towards him, pressing their lips together. Shawn didn't pull away, but at the same time, Lassiter got a reaction he wasn't expecting…Shawn had started to cry.

Moving away, Lassiter whispered, "Shawn, I'm sorry, I just ..."

"It's ok, Lassie. I had just thought I would never feel your lips on mine, ever again."

"Shawn, I love you and I would die for you."

"Don't," Lassiter's heart tightened when he heard these words. Was Shawn going to push him away again? "I don't want to ever think about you dying, especially because of me. I'm the one that needs to say he's sorry, that...that I'm sorry for the way I've been behaving. I'm just so scared that you won't want me or that...you could be hurt because of me."

"Shawn, I have never and I will never, regret US! I love you and I always will love you and want you. I mean, we don't need to rush back in, to being husbands, I would love to romance you all over again until you are ready to be with me. All I'm asking is that you don't give up on us."

"You mean that, don't you?"

"Yes, with all my heart, my body and soul, I will do whatever I can to protect you. I might make mistakes, we both will and we will hurt each other every so often, but I believe that our love is strong enough for us to survive it all."

"I want to believe that, I really do, but...I nearly killed you and..."

"That wasn't you and you know that. Otherwise, your dad, Guster, Chief Vick and I would be dead now."

"I know, it's just...it hurts, the memories, whether they're real or not, they still hurt."

"And it's going to take time. I'm not expecting everything to return to normal in a day or two. Hell, since when have our lives ever been normal? All I want is you to give me a chance; if in the end, we still don't end up together, so be it, but at least we gave it a go."

"I would like that," Shawn whispered as he looked deep into Lassiter's eyes.

"But for now, we need to put us aside until we find who killed your dad and is now trying to hurt you." Lassiter watched as Shawn nodded his agreement. "Good, what time is it?"

"Seven, why?"

"I have to ring my friend back at nine, that's when he will ring the Chief so I can make it look like we're in New York. Hungry?"

"A little."

"I will go and get us some food, I will be right back, Shawn."

"Ok and I will do my exercises," Shawn answered, but Lassiter didn't miss that the smile Shawn gave him was full of fear.

Lassiter was only gone for twenty minutes and when he returned he found Shawn lying in bed again.

"You ok, Shawn?"

"Yeah, the pain was just a little more than I was expecting. Must be because of all the walking I did yesterday."

"Sorry," Lassiter said as he placed the food on the table.

"Don't, it means my legs are getting stronger, that's a good thing. What did you get?"

"Bacon and egg sandwiches, coffee and juice, orange for me and pineapple for you."

"Sounds great and, Lassie...thank you."

"What for?"

"For believing in me, in our love."

"Always," Lassiter said as he walked up to Shawn and placed a gentle kiss on his cheek. "Come on, let's eat."

For the first time, in a long time, both Shawn and Lassiter enjoyed a simple meal. They sat in silence, each one thinking their own thoughts. For Lassiter it was the kiss and how it had changed things between them. For Shawn, his mind had gone to who and why, would anyone want to kill his father.

After eating, they cleaned up and headed over to the pay phone. Lassiter dialled Detective Col's number.

"Detective Col, how can I help you?"

"Urban, it's Carlton."

"Carlton, thank God, I was starting to think that you weren't going to call. So, what do you want me to do?"

"Can you ring the number for the Santa Barbara Police and ask to speak to Chief Vick. After she answers, put the phones together so I can talk to her. I will need you to listen in, so you know when to hang up the phone."

"Ok, I understand that you are trying to keep where you are hidden, but don't you trust your Chief or do you think her phone is tapped?"

"I just don't want anyone to know where I am, that's why I want to do it this way. Now, you are using a payphone, right?"

"Yes, just give me a second."

Lassiter waited for a couple of minutes before Detective Urban came back on the line. "Your Chief's phone is ringing now."

"Thank you, Urban." Lassiter then heard a ringing tone.

"Chief Vick, how may I help you?"

"Chief, it's Lassiter."

"Carlton, where are you and is..."

"Shawn is with me and we've left the city. Someone tried to kill him yesterday."

"We know, we saw the video, but I need to know where you are."

"No, when Shawn is safe, we will return, but not before. Sorry, Chief, it's the only way."

Lassiter didn't give Chief Vick a chance to respond, he just hung up the phone and Detective Col hung up the pay phone. He then waited for Lassiter to ring back. It didn't take long.

"Thank you, Urban, I owe you."

"Damn straight you do. Stay safe and call me if you need anything else."

"I will," And with that the two Detectives hung up. Lassiter then helped Shawn back into the hotel room.

**Thank you for reading and reviewing my story.**


	12. Betrayal

**Chapter 12: Betrayal**

"Do you think it will work?"

"I hope so. Someone is out to get you and...I think it has to do with your dad."

"Could be. They could think I know something, but what? I've been in prison."

"I don't know either, Shawn, but your dad was acting strangely the night he was shot."

"You noticed that too?"

"Yes, and he really wanted to talk to the Chief about something."

"Do you know what about?"

"No, I thought that maybe ..."

"I knew!"

"Yeah," Lassiter said with a sad sigh.

"If it had anything to do with work, Dad...he would have had it in his briefcase."

"And anyone who was after any information would have known that and would have taken the briefcase with them." Lassiter let of a deep sigh.

"Doubt it!"

"Why do you say that?"

"Dad hides his briefcase, always did! It was to stop Gus and me from getting into it."

"Do you know where he hid it?"

"Of course I do. The bottom drawer of his filing cabinet, it's been shortened and there is a gap at the back to hide the briefcase."

"Then I need to get that case."

"You need to get that case? What about me?"

"Shawn," Lassiter said as he walked closer to him. "I'm sorry, but I can't risk having you out there and whoever is trying to kill you ..."

"I will be fine!" Shawn could see so much hurt and pain in Lassie's eyes. Pain that he knew was there because of him.

"I just want to help."

"I know and you can. I need you to write down everything you remember from that day. Right from when we picked you up. You might have seen someone following you and your Dad."

"Ok, plus with my legs, I would just slow you down."

"Shawn, it's not that and you know it."

Shawn gave Lassiter a sad smile and then just went and sat down. Picking up a pen, he wrote down instructions on how to get into the secret compartment of the filing cabinet to get the briefcase. After giving it to Lassiter, Shawn kissed him. "Be careful!"

"I will and I will be back as soon as I can." And with that Shawn watched him leave.

Even though there was a tightening in his chest as he worried about Lassiter being out there on his own, Shawn also had a comforting feeling that, no matter what he had done to him and the rest, Lassiter still loved him. He then sat down and started to run through his memory, writing everything down.

It didn't take Lassiter long to hail down a taxi and he also made sure that they dropped him off a little way from Henry's house and he walked the rest of it.

It was hard to see the house of a man he respected covered in crime scene tape and the thought that Henry was murdered in there had sent shivers down his whole body. Before entering the house, Lassiter gave a small prayer, then he slipped in.

It didn't take long for Lassiter to find the filing cabinet or to get to the briefcase, but just as he was leaving, he heard someone enter. Quickly hiding, Lassiter waited for the person or persons, since he could hear more than one voice, to pass. While he waited, Lassiter was shocked to realise who he was listing too.

"Do you really think Detective Lassiter and Shawn are in LA, Chief?"

"I hope so, McNab. I really don't want them here at the moment."

"Yes, Ma'am."

"Plus, I'm afraid that if I order you to go after Shawn again, you might kill him or Lassiter this time."

"The car wasn't supposed to hit them the way it did. It hit a bump and changed direction and as for the hospital incident, I'm sorry, I guess I went overboard."

"It's alright, McNab, but we need to find Henry's briefcase before anyone else does."

Lassiter couldn't believe his ears, Chief Vick was the one that ordered the attempts on Shawn and it was McNab who she had ordered to do it. _'We're they the ones that killed Henry as well? And what the hell is in this briefcase?'_ were the thoughts that echoed around Lassiter's head.

He was now feeling a whole lot better about lying to the Chief about where he and Shawn really were. Shaking his head, Lassiter managed to slip out of Henry's house and made his way down the beach.

Lassiter wasn't sure what he was going to tell Shawn or even if he should tell him. After all, how do you tell a man that has trust issues that the people he should be able to trust the most had just betrayed him and maybe even murdered his father?

Taking a deep breath, Lassiter hailed down a taxi and headed back to where he and Shawn were staying. He just hoped that whatever Henry had in this briefcase was worth his life.

**Thank you for reading and reviewing my story.**


	13. A Little Bit of Information

**Chapter 13: A Little Bit of Information**

Shawn stood next to the window, the curtain slightly pulled back as he watched out for Lassiter's return. He was getting worried, as he was sure Lassiter would have been back by now, unless...he didn't want to think about that. About the fact that Lassiter could have run into trouble, all because of him.

As he saw a lone figure round the corner, he let out a sigh of relief. Even though the heavy rain was making it hard to make out any features, he could still see that it was Lassiter. As the wringing wet man reached the door, Shawn opened it, holding out a towel.

Lassiter smiled, taking the towel and rubbing it through his hair. Saying he was wet was an understatement. Lassiter was soaked to the bone. Why today, of all days, did it have to rain? A day where he just couldn't get a lift to his door.

When he felt Shawn's hands slip around his waist, Lassiter's thoughts about the rain were gone and he jumped a little. Turning around, he could see the devastated look in Shawn's eyes.

"Shawn, I'm sorry. It's just...I'm not used to being touched anymore."

Lassiter moved closer to Shawn, who backed away a little. He was scared. He had been fighting the urge to hurt Lassiter ever since they got to the hotel, to...prove to himself that all the things he was told by Hogan weren't true, that...that Lassiter did still love and want him. But it's hard to believe that when Lassiter jumps whenever he touches him.

"You don't really want me anymore, do you?"

"Of course I do," Lassiter said as he managed to capture Shawn hand and pull him close. "But we both need to do a lot of healing. You need to heal from what Hogan did to you and I need to heal as well."

"What do you need to heal?"

"How I failed you."

"You didn't fail me."

"Yes, Shawn, I did and now, now we need to be there for each other even more."

"Why?" Shawn was worried about this statement. What did Lassiter find out about his dad's death that he hadn't told him?

Lassiter kissed Shawn. It was tender. It was full of love and it was needed, both by Shawn and Lassiter as he tried to calm his nerves. When they pulled apart, Lassiter guided Shawn to the side of the bed and sat them both down.

"I got your father's briefcase and ..." Lassiter paused as he thought about how to tell Shawn. "And while I was there, I think your dad's killers turned up, at least, the ones that went after you."

"Who were they?" Shawn's voice was firm, but still shook a little.

"Chief Vick and McNab." Lassiter said it quickly, like he was pulling off a band-aid, but saying it out loud still didn't stop the feelings of betrayal, hurt and disbelief.

"Are you sure?"

"They were there and talking about how the Chief had ordered McNab to stop you from getting to the hospital."

"I know he was the one that had the car run us down and he was in the hospital room."

"How …?"

"I searched my memory while you were gone. McNab was watching from the spot the car came from. No one was driving it. I think it was just supposed to hit the front of the car, but it hit a pot hole, which knocked it off course and into your door. McNab's face was one of horror when he realised what was happening and he is the only person I know that wears 'Midnight Shade' aftershave and is that tall. But that doesn't mean they killed my Dad, just that they were trying to keep me away from the hospital and from my Dad."

"True, but they were looking for your father's briefcase."

"Well, why don't you go and have a warm shower and get changed before you catch your death of cold and we will look at what Dad has it there," Shawn said as he pointed at the briefcase that was sitting on the floor near the door. "When you get out."

"Ok," Lassiter said as he lent down and gave Shawn another wet kiss.

Smiling, Lassiter walked over to the bathroom and closed the door. He was glad to get out of the wet clothes and for some reason, not surprised to find dry clothes hanging on the back of the door. Hopping into the shower he started to count. 'One, two, three, four', that was it, four kisses they had shared since they had arrived at this hotel. If anything good has come out of this it's that he and Shawn had started to reconnect, maybe even started to heal with every kiss they've had.

Shawn sat on the side of the bed, listening to the sound of the shower. He allowed the memories of when he used to watch Lassiter shower flood his mind and he relaxed a little. They had shared four kisses since getting here and he had allowed Lassiter to hold him last night. For the first time, in a long time he felt safe and where he belonged.

Looking at the briefcase, Shawn got up, picked up the case and put it on the small table. Could what is in here be the reason his Dad was murdered? The lessons his father had given him as a child played in his mind and then, all of a sudden something caught his attention. It wasn't a lesson, it was a piece of information his father had told him.

_'Oh. My. God'_. Shawn thought as he replayed and replayed that tiny little bit of information over and over in his head.

**Thank you for reading and reviewing my story.**


	14. The Briefcase

**Chapter 14: The Briefcase**

When Lassiter exited the bathroom, he found Shawn going through the papers from Henry's briefcase.

"I thought we were going to do that together?"

"We were and still are," Shawn replied as he looked up.

Lassiter stood there shirtless and with water droplets still running down his hairy chest. In his hands he had a towel which he was still using to dry his hair. Shawn swallowed hard and shifted slightly to hide the lump that was forming in his pants. Even though the years had been hard on him, Lassiter still looked as handsome as the day they meet and he still turned Shawn on.

"I just wanted to get started to find out why someone tried to kill my Dad."

It broke Lassiter's heart to hear Shawn speak those words. They sounded so full of hope and denial that his father was no longer alive. "Shawn ..."

"I know what you are going to say Lassie, but hear me out, ok."

"Always," Lassiter answered.

"While you were having a shower, I was looking at the briefcase and remembering my Dad and the lessons he had given me as a kid. But, this was not a lesson exactly, but some other information he told me that caught my attention. It was about an officer who had died and then a couple of weeks later, he was alive again. I asked him about how could that happened and Dad said that someone had been trying to kill the officer and to protect him, they faked his death. They couldn't even let his wife see his body, because her reaction and behaviour afterwards would have been wrong and the killer would've know the truth and ..."

"And you think the Chief has done this with your dad and the attacks on you were...what? Just a way to get you out of the way?"

"I think, they still think that I'm the one that tried to kill my Dad."

"But you didn't, you, couldn't have done that!" Lassiter said as he wrapped his arms around Shawn's shoulders.

"Thanks for believing in me."

"Any time, Shawn," Lassiter said, before kneeling down in front of Shawn and pulling him into a deep and tender kiss.

As the kiss deepened with each moment, Lassiter felt real hope for him and Shawn, that each kiss they were sharing, was helping them both to heal and at the same time, bring them closer.

Pulling apart, Lassiter smiled at Shawn and gripped his hand that was pressed against his chest. "Shall we," Lassiter jested towards the papers. Shawn nodded and they let go of each other. Lassiter then sat in the other chair and they started to sift through the pile of papers.

Meanwhile, back at Henry's, Chief Vick and McNab weren't getting anywhere. They had searched every room, including Shawn's bedroom, twice. Chief Vick, once again, found herself standing in Henry's home office.

"I'm sorry, Chief, I can't find Mr. Spencer's briefcase anywhere," McNab said as he entered the room.

"It's here, McNab, it's here somewhere. We just haven't found it yet, but we wi..." Just then, Chief Vick noticed something. "McNab, what's that behind the filing cabinet?"

Walking over to the cabinet, McNab looked behind it. There he found the hidden door and he opened it. It was empty, but he also noticed something else. "Chief, I think we're too late."

"What do you mean, we're too late?"

"It's empty and there's wet shoe prints on the floor and the hidden door is also wet."

"So we've just missed them and they have whatever Henry had. Damn it!" Chief Vick swore, a little louder than she meant to.

She was getting frustrated with all of this and until Henry woke up, she couldn't get any answers. All she could guess is, it had something to do with whatever Henry wanted to talk to her about on the day Shawn had gotten out. She just hoped it had nothing to do with Shawn, himself. Otherwise, she had just sent Lassiter off with someone who could still be dangerous and because of his feelings for Shawn, Lassiter could easily let his guard down.

"Come on, let's go back to the station and go through Henry's papers, maybe he left something behind there instead." With that, Chief Vick and McNab headed out into the pouring rain.

After two hours of going over paperwork, Lassiter and Shawn were just about at their wits end. Beside the fact that they didn't think the briefcase could hold so much paper, it all looked like gibberish to them. Lassiter managed to escape using the excuse they needed more food, leaving Shawn on his own to continue rifling through the papers.

Shawn couldn't believe how boring the contents of his dad's briefcase were. Most of it was just about the different consultants the station used, their rate of pay and the hours they worked. _'BORING'_ Shawn thought as he threw that last piece of paper down, but before it hit the table, something caught his eye. As he picked it back up, the door to the room opened up.

"Lassie, I think I found it!" Shawn shouted as he turned around, but it wasn't Lassiter standing in the doorway. "You!"

Shawn felt his chest tightening in panic and in his rush to get away, he sent all the papers flying, but he still wasn't quick enough and was soon cornered in the bathroom.

**Thank you for reading and reviewing my story.**


	15. Information Revealed

**Chapter 15: Information Revealed**

Lassiter just had to make a coffee and food run. He had never seen so much paperwork in his life, let alone stuff he couldn't make heads nor tails of. If Shawn was right and Henry was alive, he swore he would never tell Henry his job is easy, ever again.

As he walked back to the room, Lassiter was glad to see that the rain had eased and was more like a light mist than actual rain. But even this dreary weather couldn't break the way he felt. His heart and soul were filled with so much hope that Shawn was right and Henry was alive.

He was also full of joy. Joy at the fact the he and Shawn were coming together so easily and maybe, just maybe they could be husbands once again. But first, they needed to work out what was so important in Henry's briefcase. That way they could track down Henry's would be killer or killers and stop them before they could try again.

Standing at the hotel room door, he checked that he had everything he needed. Food, check. Coffee, check. Pain medication for Shawn...Lassiter checked his pockets, check. Smiling, Lassiter carefully opened to the door, but the smile quickly disappeared, when he walked in and saw the paperwork all over the table, floor and bed, and Shawn was nowhere to be seen.

"Shawn," Lassiter called out as he put the food and coffee on the table. As he looked around, panic was growing deep in his chest. Suddenly, the bathroom door started to open. Lassiter quickly pulled out his gun. Once the door was open fully, Lassiter's eyes widened with shock, "You! Where's Shawn?"

"He's in here, we didn't mean to scare him, Lassiter."

"Sure you didn't. What are you doing here anyway, and how did you find us?" Lassiter asked, but then he just ignored what Gus had to say as he walked past him to find Shawn sitting on the toilet with his head in his hands. Standing next to him was Juliet with her hand was gently rubbing his back.

"Shawn, you ok?" Shawn looked up and nodded, but Lassiter could still see the shock and fear in his eyes.

"Come on, let's go to the other room."

Shawn gave Lassiter a weak smile, but didn't resist when Lassiter helped him up and pulled him into a hug. They all then exited the bathroom, where Lassiter found that Gus had started to clear the beds of paper work. Lassiter sat down with Shawn on one of the beds, facing the other, which Gus and Juliet had sat down on.

"So, how did you find us?" Lassiter asked again, he still held Shawn close to his body.

"I followed you," Juliet answered.

"What do you mean, you followed me?"

"I saw you getting into a taxi. I thought it was strange since the Chief had said that you and Shawn had left town, so I followed the taxi, watched you get out, walk a small distance and then catch the bus. You repeated this action two more times. At the last stop, you walked here and after I saw Shawn open the door and you walked inside, I called Gus."

"And I thought I was so careful. You haven't told the Chief where we are, have you?"

"No, I figured there was a reason you lied to her."

"There is, but I'm starting to question whether or not it was the right thing to do."

"It was the right thing to do," Shawn added as he looked up into Lassiter's eyes. "At the time, it was the right decision and I still believe it's still the right one."

"Shawn, you're the one that just convinced me that Chief Vick only ordered McNab to...attack you in order to keep you away from your dad for his own safety."

"I did and I still do believe that is what the Chief was doing, but it doesn't mean that the person that shot my dad isn't someone we know."

"True," Lassiter said as he gripped Shawn a little tighter. Gus and Juliet watched as Shawn relaxed into Lassiter embrace.

"My dad is still alive, isn't he, Gus?" Shawn was now looking straight into the eyes of his best friend.

Gus swallowed hard before answering. "Yes, Shawn, he is, at least for now he is!"

"What do you mean by that, Gus?" Lassiter asked, feeling like Gus's words were a threat.

"I meant that Mr. Spencer is still in critical condition and is still not out of danger. He had lost a lot of blood and ..."

"That was my fault."

"No, Shawn, you ..."

"I was scared. Angry and scared and I failed to get Dad help straight away."

"Shawn ..."

"I was angry, Gus. I was angry with Dad, with all of you, so when Dad asked me to come out and talk to him, I refused."

"If you had, you might be fighting for your life too, or worse, dead." Shawn could hear the pain as Lassiter spoke.

"Maybe or maybe the attacker might not have done anything, but that is beside the point. When I heard the gunshots, I was scared and I rolled off my bed, pulled my wheelchair down and hid it and myself under my bed. I was a coward."

"No you weren't, Shawn," Juliet said as she leant forward and placed a hand on his knee. "After everything you have been through in the last few years, no one could blame you."

"But...but even after the attacker left, I just laid there, waiting for him to come back. I can still see his shoes and the bottom of his pants. I'm just glad he didn't check under the bed."

Lassiter let out a big sigh and cradled Shawn's head on his chest. "It's ok, Shawn, you're safe now."

"Shawn, you didn't tell the police that," Gus' voice was low and gentle.

"I was afraid to, just in case it was them."

"I don't understand?" Lassiter said confused as to what Shawn and Gus was talking about.

"The shooter entered Shawn's room. He didn't tell the police that and from what Shawn just said the shoes and pants were...police issue, Shawn?"

Lassiter felt Shawn nod against his chest. "So Henry's shooter was a cop. No wonder you've been so scared, but don't worry, Shawn, we won't let anyone hurt you again.

"There's something else."

"What is it?"

Shawn sat up and looked around the scattered papers, but it didn't take him long to find the ones he was looking for. Getting up, he walked over, picked them up and handed them to Gus.

"Are these what I think they are?"

Gus looked over the papers a few time and each time he did, the more shocked he became.

"Shawn, if this is what your father found out, no wonder they went after him."

"What is it?" Juliet and Lassiter asked together.

**Thank you for reading and reviewing my story.**


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